


one can keep a secret

by revoleotion



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, M/M, Self-Harm, angst prompt: betrayal, set after ep 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21862678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion
Summary: Ren stops mid-sentence, looks down on Armitage in all his misery and slowly raises an eyebrow. There’s something about mask-less Ren that Armitage can never get over. He’s a pretty man with not enough edge to his face to hide the awkwardness. Armitage’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. That’s not Ren’s alert, he thinks with some bitterness to it, it’s hers. She’s supposed to know when he’s hurt. She’s supposed to know when to get him out of a situation. Armitage has never learnt how she looked like but his secrets were safe with her.He is going to kill that droid for giving those rights to Ren.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Phasma, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 38





	one can keep a secret

The knife in his hands feels useless when Armitage wraps his fingers around it and squeezes. The pain brings tears to his eyes and breaks through the wall of shock that has guarded his heart so far. He lets go of the blade and watches it fall to the ground. A small drip of blood follows, then another. Armitage hisses with pain as he curls his fingers around the wound.

This is real.

He isn’t dreaming. Her death is as real as the blood or the pain or the betrayal that holds his tongue hostage. He should’ve done something. Kill that trooper. Do something, so that bastard couldn’t come back and take half of Armitage’s world with him.

And he escaped, yet _again_.

Armitage’s eyes burn with tears as he leans back on his couch. There are bloodstains on the blue sofa already but he’s feeling dizzy and apathetic enough to let it slide.

“She’s gone,” he whispers to himself and his voice shakes at the attempt to say her name. He can’t. There’s already a void in his memory where she is supposed to be (the real her, not the message that she got killed by a bloody trooper) and that void is spreading like the endlessness of the galaxy.

His new room is not as comfortable as the old one, and the couch isn’t as sharp around the edges. The worst part about is that he can’t change the lock at his door. This fact comes in handy when the door opens and a man shoves himself into the room.

“Your darn droid sent me an alert-”

Ren stops mid-sentence, looks down on Armitage in all his misery and slowly raises an eyebrow. There’s something about mask-less Ren that Armitage can never get over. He’s a pretty man with not enough edge to his face to hide the awkwardness. Armitage’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. That’s not Ren’s alert, he thinks with some bitterness to it, it’s _hers_. She’s supposed to know when he’s hurt. She’s supposed to know when to get him out of a situation. Armitage has never learnt how she looked like but his secrets were safe with her.

He is going to _kill_ that droid for giving those rights to Ren.

“I am sorry,” he offers, “Feel free to kick it, if that makes you feel better.”

Ren’s eyes flicker to the droid like’s he’s seriously considering it. Then, he stops at the traitorous red on the carpet, on the couch, on Armitage’s hands. He doesn’t say anything, which is comforting. He doesn’t turn away either.

“I couldn’t tell if it was real,” Armitage says even though it’s no explanation. He doesn’t _need_ to give an explanation. She wouldn’t have needed one.

“She’s dead. You’re left with me,” Ren says, bitter somehow. It takes Armitage a while to understand what’s bothering him about this, about his _voice_ , until it hits him. He unclenches his fist and looks out of the window.

Space is calming and infinite.

“She was my protection for a long time. Even… even after he was dead, I needed a reminder that I was never going to happen again.”

“You loved her.”

Armitage slowly turs his head back to Ren. His throat prickles with offense he doesn’t dare to admit. He says as much as, “Phasma and I never fancied each other.”

Ren’s confusion saves him from the pain. Armitage feels the few brain cells the man has do their job, until Ren arrives at a conclusion. His eyes squint a little a he looks at Armitage’s hair, his clothes and, finally, his hands.

“She knew,” he says.

They are no longer equals, Armitage thinks. He has lost that battle. He has lost his friend. He is a bleeding mess on his new couch, and he’s telling his biggest secret to Ren.

He has lost the ability to care.

“And I knew about her,” he says to his new Supreme Leader because he wants Phasma to be respected, even in death. “Now, do you want to kick the droid, or not?”

Ren slightly shakes his head and points at Armitage’s blood-stained fingers, “Should I get something for you?”

Armitage allows himself to smile. Maybe, it will be fine after all.

**Author's Note:**

> In my current state of denial, I'm going to publish a few of the prompts I wrote for Fiona. All of them were written before waching episode 9 and therefore might clash with the canon. Don't worry, there is a fix-it-fic coming for TROS.  
> \- ben


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